Found this at somebody's blog
Argument I just had with my husband:
Victor: We should have another baby.
Me: TOTALLY! And then we can tattoo it.
Victor: Um…what?
Me: We could get it a tattoo of fang marks on its neck, like it’s been bitten by a vampire and is now a baby vampire. That would be awesome.
Victor: That’s..totally inappropriate.
Me: IT WOULD BE THE MOST BAD-ASS BABY EVER.
Victor: No.
Me: Dude, vampires are *huge* right now.
Victor: What is wrong with you?
Me: Oh! Or racing stripes. But babies are really slow so we’d also have to tattoo “THESE ARE IRONIC RACING STRIPES” on him so people wouldn’t make fun of him.
Victor: That’s completely ridiculous. How about if we just tattoo a giant turtle’s shell across the baby’s entire back?
Me: What?! That’s ridiculous. Why a turtle shell?
Victor: Because babies are slow. And they crawl just like turtles. And people love turtles.
Me: People run over turtles. With their cars.
Victor: Not in your damn house they don’t. Were you planning on leaving our baby out in the middle of the street?!
Me: Well not the one tattooed as a turtle, obviously.
Victor: ?
Me: Actually, probably not the one tattooed as a vampire either because then people would assume it was immortal and they wouldn’t bother to swerve.
Victor: Wow.
Me: Yeah.
Victor: You know, we probably shouldn’t have another baby.
Me: No. Probably not.
